One Daughter’s Experience with Hospice

You know that hospice for the care of elderly or terminally ill patients can be like a warm blanket — soothing, comforting and familiar. But what is the process like for those closest to the patients, like a son or a daughter? We spoke with one young lady who was only 15 years old when her father was diagnosed with colon cancer.

The first operation to remove the cancerous tumor was a success, but when it reappeared and he started chemotherapy, doctors gave him a year to live. As his teenage daughter was looking forward to things like prom and graduation and getting her driver’s license, she had no idea how upside-down her life was about to turn.

The Cancer Starts to Spread…

The first two years were uneventful, but by the third year, things started to slow down. Her father, who had worked as a general contractor, had continued his work for those first two years as if nothing had changed. The third year he looked a little more gaunt, his hair thinner and his energy lower. He started working from home more instead of being out in the field. Meanwhile, doctors were saying he didn’t have much time left.

The daughter chose not to believe these “diagnoses” because originally they had given him one year and here he was, three years later, still fighting and still enjoying a good quality of life. As his daughter started college, doctors said the cancer had spread throughout his body and was now at stage 4.

In his fifth year, her father decided to stop chemotherapy. He wasn’t improving, so there was no sense in staying on it. It also made him feel so sick and frail, it was understandably hard for her to watch. She spent more time away from home and tending to college responsibilities, including studying. That’s when the term “hospice” was thrown out.

Introducing Hospice

The daughter originally thought that hospice was simply a place where you went to die. That you were, in a sense, giving up. It was devastating. But through True Care, she was introduced to her case manager, a lady who was kind, understanding and very helpful in terms of sharing information and how hospice was going to help her father as well as his family.

Building trust and mutual understanding is just one of the many tasks that our case managers have, and it’s a job that they take very seriously. She learned that there would be a full professional team that was dedicated to her father’s specific needs: medical professionals, counselors, social workers and more all specializing in not just medical support, but emotional and spiritual support as well.

The difference in how her father looked and reacted was almost immediate. He was more relaxed, he laughed, and had great conversations with his daughter and family. In short, he was himself again, for however much time he had left. He had dignity. He had comfort. He had control. And perhaps most meaningful to everyone, he passed with a smile on his face while at home.

Comfort and Dignity

As the daughter reiterated to us in our interview, hospice can be so easily misconstrued, even if you do a lot of research. It’s so much more than what it seems, because it’s not just your loved one fighting a battle alone, nor is it something that is dumped in the laps of family members to sort of deal with, having had no experience whatsoever. It’s a team effort of people who truly care about everyone’s well-being.

As a result of her experience, the daughter eventually graduated college and came to work with us at True Care Hospice, specializing in finance. It is her way of helping those that helped her during a very difficult time, and we’re very glad she’s a part of the True Care family!

If you’d like to learn more about our comprehensive hospice care services, we invite you to give us a call today or talk with one of our hospice professionals to learn more about the care we provide. We’d be delighted to answer any questions you may have.